I'll be a real human being

so maybe i have a real plan now.
next year headed to Eugene and ill be goin through 2 years at LCC for my associates of applied science of graphic design.
im excited.
i just want to hurry up and get there.
It's been so stressful lately, im ready to get out of here.
i dunno.
I'm developing that roseburg trapped feeling. ha.
but ill be out next year...my own place....a path straight to a degree...and ill be a real human being!

entertain me

poloticians use lies to cover up truths
while artists use lies to reveal truths

I think most doctors made it through medical school not because they wanted to help people but because they just wanted to be doctors and make lots of money.

It's in the air

Twice today it's current has nearly wiped me off my feet.
That smell of home, that feel of peace.
tranquility as all qualms melt away.
so simple yet so powerful.
This morning i walked outside and a gust of cool wind stopped me in my tracks.
In it was the smell of spring.
I could almost feel winter falling away as spring ascends.
It's the same smell, the same feeling as when summer subsides to autumn.
Again this evening as i walked to my car the same wind hit me.
Felt like a reassurance.
a hug during a storm.
In North Carolina or in Oregon it's the same.
Constant. Thanks God.

Prides a tricky snare

It's hard sometimes to look at yourself and truely examine the attributes of your character.
How long do we live with demons on our backs and angels in our eyes?
There's a hebrew word for pride that is translated as "a snare".
I believe that to be a very just representation of the nature of pride.
Oh how it comes and holds tight, yet we don't even see it.
If it weren't for God forcing me to face it, i never would have realized it.
A greek word for pride is "to envelop with smoke; obscure; blind".
we begin to create in ourselves as well as other a false expectation of our own skill and ability to which we can not live up to and will inevitably lead to our own fall and disgrace.
just a thought i suppose. a lesson i had to learn.

Life is weird sometimes.
it just is.
We can never fully know what to expect.
I got a rough idea of how the next couple years will look but day by day i am surprised at what happens.
"Man plans his course in his heart; but God guides his steps"
wish i could tell you where that scripture was....psalms somewhere.

I have a crazy uncertain life ahead of me. But I have an awesome constant assurance that I will always be ok. Faith leads me on. His presence guides me.

To anyone going to Bethel 09-10

So my name is David Cantrell and I love Jesus.
I'm an intern in the Generation Interns program.
I was saved in june of 2007 and moved to Oregon.
From there God worked quickly and powerfully in my life, the call the ministry laid heavy on my heart near the end of 2007. By 2008 I had decided to commit to the pursuit of full time ministry and began a group at my high school called RHS Ministries. After graduation i was added to the youth church leadership team and began preaching the occasional wednesday night. The following school year i enrolled in Generation Interns. Since joining i feel led to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in the 09-10 school year to continue striving towards a deeper and more powerful relationship with out Lord Jesus Christ. I'm expecting a financial miracle this summer :].

As of now i don't know anyone else who will be going, i don't have an apartment or roomate set up, and no job set up.

At the risk of sounding like a creeper i'd like to meet people online so that maybe when i get there near september i'll have a roomate to split the cost of an apartment.

thats the main point of this entry.
ya, im a cool kid i promise. 19, 20 in september.

p.s.
i dont mind making female friends but i wont room with one sorry :/

Will it always be a gamble?

how is it when you meet someone just awesome,
and you know it will never work?
Music in the park as the sun sets,
what a beautiful voice.
resonating through the falling autumn leaves,
vibrating oranges, yellows, greens.
the cadence leaves you breathless
her laugh hollows you out.
The last gleaming rays of sun shine bright in her stunning hazel-yellow eyes
The sun sets and the light fades but the glimmer in her eyes persist.

*snap* and i come to

I'm too old.
I can't date in the internship.
She wouldn't want to live with my crazy life even afterward.
so it all falls.
the leaves starve for oxygen
The stem weakens and breaks
they fall fall fall to the ground
they crumble to brown and die
my eyes open from this dream
and everything is at face value.
nothing but a friendship
no feelings attached
there can't be.
Don't lead her on.

pourquoi pourquoi pourquoi???
Je deteste la maniere que je me sens.....
tres belle...

narrow road

i followed the crowd once.
i was there.
i walked with company once.
i did.
i walked straight towards death once.
right to it.
i walked with everybody else.
everybody else.

i found truth, i found life.
i walked away from them.
i walked away from the crowds.
the road i follow now is more like a path.
roughly cut and narrow
it's not easy.
but i expected that.
i hold myself to higher standards.
my path is very narrow now.
it's not easy.
i expected that.
it's lonely.
i didn't expect that.
theres few people here.
less who care to make friends.
don;t get my wrong
i wouldn't trade this for the world.
although,
it'd be nice to have company.